By Evelyn Weaver, a first-year biology and environmental & marine science major from Mishawaka, Indiana
Scripture: Psalm 32 (NRSV)
“I acknowledged my sin to you… and you forgave me” (Psalm 32). It took me some time to connect to this idea. Whenever I think of sins being forgiven I envision someone who murdered somebody and has a very concrete event that needs forgiven. Then, when the guilt becomes too much, they go into a church and have this dramatic moment of crying on their hands and knees asking for forgiveness. Then they leave and are free to live the rest of their happy lives without guilt and protected by the blessings of God. This has not happened to me and so I feel the need to amend my previous ideas of what forgiveness of sins really means and how I can connect it with my life. I may not feel like I am hiding a huge sin from the world, but there is this urge to hide my flaws, insecurities and the little mistakes I constantly make. I want to seem intelligent but have no motivation for work. I want to be active but I don’t get out of bed. I want to be healthier but sit with my pretzels and peanut butter. These are the things I lie to myself about. The times when I don’t acknowledge that I am tired or stressed. When I forget to be vulnerable with God and those around me. I have learned the meaning of shame and acceptance. I find it terribly difficult to understand my own thoughts, feelings and actions at times. Nothing makes sense and yet I am convinced that everything is wrong. But when I slow down… When I talk and think rationally and ask God to help me understand; I can come to a place of acceptance. Maybe I feel lazy and unmotivated, and maybe I did “waste time.” Sometimes acknowledging the way that things are is the simplest way to feel at peace. We cannot hide from others, ourselves or God. Accepting these insecurities we hold and expressing them is one way to dispel their power over us and be set free.
Scripture: Psalm 32 (NRSV)
Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
2Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
3While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
5Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah
6Therefore let all who are faithful offer prayer to you; at a time of distress, the rush of mighty waters shall not reach them.
7You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with glad cries of deliverance. Selah
8I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you.
10Many are the torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord.
11Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.