By Ainslee Zou, a senior music and microbiology/biochemistry major from Bristol, Indiana
Scripture: Psalm 51:1-12 (NRSV)
My mom was born a natural gardener with a very green thumb. Throughout my life, I’ve witnessed and admired her love of plants, flowers and all flora. Nurturing plants has always been a gift that she has, yet she did not pass it on to me. I’ve had far too many frustrating experiences where a plant would not grow, no matter what techniques I used to tend to it.
Growth is a complex and trying process. There are many different ways to think of and define growth. Personally, I’ve always thought that many aspects of this process can only be understood by a very complex science. Regardless of definition, it is unequivocal that growth requires energy and vulnerability. It requires trust in processes unseen, as well as openness to change.
In the midst of some of my darkest moments, it is hard for me to be open to change. Personally, I hold a lot of fear in my heart about things unknown. What if things somehow get worse? How will the people around me view me? What if, somehow, these things that are happening to me are a result of my own actions? Sometimes, it feels as if I’ve become too broken to let myself heal again. Yet, growth is defined by change and transformation.
In tending to plants, sometimes, by some miracle, wilting plants simply get better on their own. Occasionally, one of the random techniques that I try with my plants is effective, but not without different trials and many errors. More often than not, however, I end up calling my mom to ask her what I may have been doing wrong. She guides me through and offers her expertise when I am lost.
In life, it can sometimes feel like there is nothing left to be done. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t even know where to start to be able to grow, or fix anything. In these moments, I call on God to offer guidance, wisdom and mercy to pull me out of the depths and place me on the journey of growth. God creates a clean heart in us, providing us with sustenance and the spiritual nutrients our souls need to fulfill a calling to deeper growth.
Scripture: Psalm 51:1-12 (NRSV)
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.
2Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.
4Against you, you alone, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are justified in your sentence and blameless when you pass judgment.
5Indeed, I was born guilty, a sinner when my mother conceived me.
6You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.
9Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
10Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.
11Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your holy spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit.