A remembrance of Mary K. Oyer
Mary K. Oyer ’45, professor emerita of music, died on January 11, 2024, at the age of 100. These are the edited remarks President Rebecca Stoltzfus shared at Mary’s memorial service on March 10.
AT A MOMENT like this, it is natural to lionize Mary. A lion — imagine a female lion — is an appropriate metaphor. But I also want to humanize Mary.
I want to begin with my experience of Mary as a Goshen College student, 18 years old, in 1980. Mary’s teaching career at Goshen College began in 1945 and ended in 1987, so my years were late in her career at GC.
I began my time at Goshen as a music major, studying piano with Marvin Blickenstaff (former professor of music). I graduated as a chemistry major. But the music program was a throughline for me and my formation, as were the music faculty.
I came from an educated and musical family, but I did not have lots of musical training when I came to Goshen. So when a symphony orchestra came to perform here — it might have been the Cleveland Symphony — it was my first experience listening to a live orchestra. It was awesome.
The next day, Mary asked me about my experience. I told her that I loved it. I mentioned that it was so beautiful how all of the bows of the string players went up and down at the same time.
I remember the look on her face, and that I wanted to drop through the floor! She said something along the lines of, “Well, I hope that you were impressed by more than that!”
I sang in the choirs and was the choral accompanist, and one year while Doyle Preheim (professor emeritus of music) was on sabbatical leave, Mary directed the Chamber Choir. As her accompanist, I found her to be exacting and a little bit scary. I did not quite possess the maturity to flourish under her leadership. I was still growing up, and on more than one occasion Irankled at her criticism and precise demands. I know that she felt the tension between us, because my father — Vic Stoltzfus ’56, who was the Academic Dean at the time — called me out on it. Someone, perhaps Mary herself, had whispered something in his ear.
I learned a great deal from her musical leadership, and still remember one of the French texts we labored to learn. Most of all, I remember her attention to intonation. With piano as my primary instrument, I had grown up thinking that a B natural was a B natural was a B natural. You push down the B key, and you get a B.
What I learned from Mary, is that a B natural on the page has to be interpreted in the context of the key and its role in the scale. I learned that half steps are crucially important to musical meaning and that they are not all the same. She made us mark every half step. She tuned us relentlessly.
Thirty years later, as president, I invited her out to lunch for her 95th birthday. I was nervous. I was fully prepared to apologize to her for my stubborn immaturity as a student and her accompanist. What I found was a joyful, gentle, appreciative elder with a wonderful smile. I never felt the need to make my apology, because she clearly was at a new stage in life, and so was I.
During that conversation, I noted that she had seen quite a few presidents during her time at GC, and asked whether she had any observations or advice for me. She said that each president was different, with their own leadership style and gifts. She expressed respect for each one, and counseled me to bring my own gifts.
So to all of Mary’s past students or colleagues who have carried any sense of remorse for our awkwardness or immaturity in response to her uniquely gifted leadership, I wholeheartedly believe that we are forgiven.
As president, I have the privilege of being in many gatherings of alumni. My favorite question is to ask them “What person in your Goshen College experience was highly memorable or important to you?” Mary Oyer is one of the most commonly named professors. For alumni of several decades, “The Arts with Mary Oyer” was an introduction to worlds of culture and media and expression. She blew their minds. And she held them to a high standard.
She is the only professor named in alumni gatherings where the alum also wants the group to know what grade she assigned them. I hear: “And I got an A-minus!”
Mary was a teacher, musician, scholar and woman ahead of her time in so many ways. She introduced Goshen College to a truly global soundscape and fundamentally shaped our strong arts and music culture. We are forever indebted to her.
Rebecca Stoltzfus, president